This is a spoiler warning of sorts because there are spoilers of sorts for InheritanceWhat the <PROFANE PROFANITY> is <PROFANE> Angela? WHAT IS SHE? If this is a <PROFANE> attempt to make some stupid <PROFANE> spin off about her, I will end him.
Why can't Eragon ride Saphira back to Alagaesia? What? She is the OLDEST LIVING DRAGON!. What is she too fragile to fly back? If she is the Dragons are dead. Period. The only one who might possibly be able to best her is Thorn and He's all messed up anyway. EXPLAIN YOUR REASONING, YOU <PROFANE> PIECE OF <PROFANE> EXCREMENT? A PROPHECY IN A NOVEL DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. It's NOT "Oh there's a prophecy so I'll never come back". THERE IS LITERALLY ONLY ONE <PROFANE> REASON TO HAVE A <PROFANE> PROPHECY IN A <PROFANE> NOVEL AND IT IS TO SEE THE <PROFANE> THING COME TO FRUITION. IT DOES NOT GET <PROFANE> FULFILLED WITH A <PROFANE> THROW AWAY LINE ABOUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN AFTER THE <PROFANE> BOOK ENDS. <PROFANITY> YOU!
Why the <PROFANITY> is Orrin suddenly a drunk? What, after years of ruling his kingdom in opposition to one of the most powerful beings in the world he has cracked under the pressure? REALLY!? It wasn't the battle that happened in Surda? It wasn't harbouring the Varden? IT WAS THE <PROFANE> AS SUCESSFUL AS <PROFANE> POSSIBLE INVASION THAT'S GOING ALMOST EXACTLY TO PLAN THAT MAKES HIM <PROFANE> CRACK AND BECOME A <PROFANE> DRUNK? HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, YOU <PROFANE> HACK?
Speaking of Character development, why the hell does Roran go from an intelligent, hopeful young man, to a determined hunter, to a Blood-thirsty rectal sphincter WHO PLANS HOW TO KILLS HIS COMMANDER'S BODYGUARDS EVERY TIME HE MEETS THEM? THAT IS NOT <PROFANE> OK. YOU ONLY PLAN TO KILL THE BODYGUARDS WHEN YOU WANT TO MURDER YOUR COMMANDER! YOU DO NOT DO THAT WHEN YOU ARE SIMPLY WAITING FOR YOUR ORDERS. I DON'T CARE IF THEY WERE <PROFANE> EYEING YOU, THAT IS LITERALLY HALF THEIR <PROFANE> JOB DESCRIPTION YOU, <PROFANE> DICK, THE OTHER HALF BEING KILLING YOU IF YOU <PROFANE> KILL THEIR BOSS.
For that matter, why are Orik and Isilandi basically nonentities in this book? They were pretty <PROFANE> important in the last two. They're the rulers of two of the most important races in the book, you'd think they'd matter. For that matter what happened to the Dwarves? They appear and that's it? We don't know how much larger they make the army? WE SPENT HALF A <PROFANE> BOOK WITH THEM AND IN THIS ONE YOU MENTION THE OCCASIONAL DWARF AND THE FACT THAT THERE ARMY HAS TURNED UP AND THAT'S <PROFANE> IT? REALLY? THEN WHY THE <PROFANITY> WERE THEY SO <PROFANE> IMPORTANT IN THE FIRST <PROFANE> PLACE? YOU DO NOT GET TO <PROFANE> DO THAT TO YOUR THRICE, AND THRICE AGAIN, DAMNED READERS!
As for Murtagh, why don't we spend a little time from his perspective? We're not supposed to sympathise with him being forced to do evil things unless it's from somebody else's point-of-view? You know what helps build empathy, right? SPENDING A LITTLE TIME IN THE <PROFANE> CHARACTER'S OWN <PROFANE> SHOES WHILE HE'S SUFFERING. THAT IS THE WHOLE <PROFANE> POINT OF EMPATHY.
WELL I HOPE YOU'RE <PROFANE> HAPPY PAOLINI. YOU'VE MADE ME WRITE MORE TO CRITIZE YOU THAN I'VE HAD TO IN THE LAST MONTH. FIVE HUNDRED <PROFANE> WORDS, FULL OF BILE AND NOT A SINGLE SPOILER, JUST SO THAT I CAN FEEL A LITTLE BETTER ABOUT SPENDING ANY <PROFANE> MONEY ON YOUR <PROFANE> WORK.
Never again will I read a book by Paolini. Never a-<PROFANE>-gain.
<Adjective Profane Noun>
You guys are smart, I'm sure you'll find the right substitutions.
It's ok. I'm not angry anymore.
