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Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 39668 times)
alwaysalexrider
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Whoo- I play saxophone like Garfield
« Reply #585 on: May 01, 2011, 09:38:35 PM »
Ok, so I just put tobasco sauce all over a waffle wafer thing! grin I'll let it dry off a little bit before I give it to her so she doesn't suspect a thing!
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Rider rules
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Who would I be... If I'd never met Alex Rider?
« Reply #586 on: May 01, 2011, 09:39:32 PM »
Muahaha! Hope it works! Good luck!!! grin
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Schadenfreude
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« Reply #587 on: May 15, 2011, 03:04:49 AM »
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display.

"Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The gentleman was your doctor."
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alwaysalexrider
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Whoo- I play saxophone like Garfield
« Reply #588 on: May 15, 2011, 08:49:27 PM »
 cheesy Hahaha. That is reallly funny Schadenfreude
And sadly Rider rules she didn't eat it. but she didn't see what I did so I will try it again later
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Rider rules
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Who would I be... If I'd never met Alex Rider?
« Reply #589 on: May 18, 2011, 01:32:27 PM »
Awww... that's sooo bad!
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Schadenfreude
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« Reply #590 on: May 22, 2011, 04:50:08 PM »
Becky and Sally Ann were doing some carpenter work on a house. Becky who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Sally Ann, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."

Sally Ann got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!."
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Tai
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« Reply #591 on: May 22, 2011, 05:43:49 PM »
hahahahaha nice one
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live forever or die trying.
Schadenfreude
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« Reply #592 on: May 24, 2011, 11:42:06 AM »
At least they know how to spell 'feminist' right. And 'take'.

Dead baby jokes, anyone? They're sick and twisted and oh so hilarious. XD
Warning: Not for the faint of heart.


What's worse that seven dead babies in the back of a car?
One dead baby in the back of seven cars.

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume.

What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby get for Christmas?
Cancer.

How do you get a baby out of a tree?
You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a pinata.

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of its head.

What's grosser than gross?
A garbage can full of dead babies.

What's grosser than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive.

What's grosser than that?
It has to eat its way to freedom.

What's grosser than that?
It goes back for more.


EDIT: I am so going to Hell for finding these funny.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 11:59:14 AM by Schadenfreude » Logged
Rider rules
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Who would I be... If I'd never met Alex Rider?
« Reply #593 on: May 27, 2011, 08:13:58 PM »
LOL! btw, did you know that one of the planets (I think its Venus) has low gravity and strong hurricanes, and my friends were joking about one of my friends being blown out of  the atmosphere by a hurricane!
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Tai
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« Reply #594 on: June 01, 2011, 05:22:17 PM »
hahahaha u might've gone a tad far....hilarious and but far lol
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live forever or die trying.
Rider rules
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Who would I be... If I'd never met Alex Rider?
« Reply #595 on: June 03, 2011, 06:48:31 PM »
Yeah. It reminded me of Wagbo from Harry Hill's TV Burp uping ot of a plane!
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alwaysalexrider
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Whoo- I play saxophone like Garfield
« Reply #596 on: June 11, 2011, 04:50:09 AM »
My math teacher told us this, it is so funny(for kids not parents)! This is called WHY PARENTS DRINK:

A father passing by his son?s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ?Dad??

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I?m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it? s not only the passion?Dad she?s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.
                                                   
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn?t really hurt anyone.
We?ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don?t worry Dad. I?m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I?m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I?m over at Tommy?s house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That?s in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it?s safe to come home.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2011, 09:32:04 PM by alwaysalexrider » Logged
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
Kaurageous_rocks
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I can resist everything except temptation... 東方神起
« Reply #597 on: November 28, 2011, 10:38:45 PM »
hhe that was actually really funnny cheesy
what happened to this topic ... its a joke !!!! ...
I mean come on why was this hidden in the third page O.o
 
anyway joke
(say it out loud it helps in getting the joke Tongue )
a scientist walks into a bar and say I want a glass of H2O
The barman impressed gives him a glass for free
a blond behind tries the same thing ' I want a glass of H2O too'
(say it out loud it helps in getting the joke Tongue )
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cogito ergo sum
Schadenfreude
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« Reply #598 on: December 02, 2011, 12:56:26 PM »
Oh jeeze, scientific jokes.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
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gypolord
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ANSWER THE $#@*ing QUESTION!
« Reply #599 on: December 02, 2011, 01:25:55 PM »
A waiter asked a scientist if he wanted some salt. He said "Na"
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I'm not addicted to reading, I can quit as soon as I finish one more Chapter.
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